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STOP SELLING E-ZINE - ISSUE NO.53/ JULY 2009

Dear Reader,

A few years ago, I conducted a sales training based on our Stop Selling! approach with a group of very bright and well educated sales executives. As a preparation, I shadowed (means observing in action) the participants during client meetings.

One of these meetings still remains vividly in my memory because I couldn't imagine that it's possible for a sales person to talk so much. I have to admit, that I was intrigued by the fact that the client seemed to be very engaged in listening to what this sales person had to say. In fact, I had to admit, that it was very interesting because this executive could talk really well.

Did he get the deal? Well, no. It turned out that the proposal he made after the meeting was pretty much off the expectations of the client. Surprised? Not really, because how would he know the client's important decision criteria if he didn't ask? And listened?

Today's article focuses on the misconception of sales people needing to be great talkers. I hope you'll enjoy William's article (scroll down to read).

Let's keep progressing!

Charlie Lang
Executive Coach and Founder of Progress-U Ltd.
Author of The Groupness Factor

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Look Who’s Talking? Or Listening?
By William Ho

Download this article

It might be the biggest misconception of all time.

You are sitting in a group, and you recognize that there is usually one person who captures everyone’s attention by talking and talking and talking.  People gather around him, and listen to what he is saying.  He makes kind of patches of speeches; he talks about himself, his family and friends, his adventures, his stories, how good and smart he is, and so on.  The crowd might ask a few questions, and you know that he is not listening too much, as he continues within his wonderful confine.  At one point you might think that he is really enjoying the moment. 

You might be interested in what he is saying. You might not. 

You laugh because of how he says it. You might find him funny. Then again, you might not.

At the end of the day, you would only remember what related to yourself. You probably remember what had an impact on you. Then again, you might not.

You suddenly wonder if you should hire him as your next sales manager.

That’s where the misconception comes in: good salespeople should be quite talkative.

Or should they?

You ask yourself: in a buying/selling situation, who is actually in charge?

You answer yourself: it is the buyer who is in charge.

Why?  Sales will never happen unless there is a need – a need from the buyer.  Sales will only happen if the buyer realizes what s/he needs and the seller has something that can fulfill those needs.  And it is always the seller’s responsibility to cultivate, explore, and understand the needs from the buyer and have the buyer agree that what the seller is offering indeed matches the buyer’s needs – in the buyer’s terms.  It is that simple.

So, who should do the talking?

Or, who should do the listening?  Or to be more exact, what we call “active listening”?

You answer yourself: it is the seller, the sales person, or your next sales manager that should do the listening, the active listening.

You also remember that the first rule of active listening is: Stop talking!

You can't multi-task speaking and listening. If you're talking, you're not listening. This rule also applies to the talking inside your head. If you're thinking intently about what you want to say, you're not listening to what is being said.

While listening, you should create a space in your mind to focus on reacting and responding to the speaker. Create, too, a space in your mind for what the speaker has to say. Create a space between your thoughts.  Quiet your mind and focus your attention on listening.

Also, you hold your judgments.  How many times have you passionately expressed a gut reaction only to become turned around and regret what you said after hearing more of the facts? Allow for a thoughtful pause between reacting, a space during which to ask yourself, "Do I have the whole story?"

While you may not consciously feel the need to be right, you tend to have certain ideas about reality and feel groundless when they're threatened. Groundless now and then isn't a bad thing. Without it you can't break new ground or find common ground.  It's okay to be unsure.

And then of course, you need to respond, ask, and clarify.  You heard all about the 5Ws &1H (Who, Where, When, What, Why, and How).  Ask open questions and inspire them to give you more information and let them dig deeper into their mind.  You also understand that there are the powerful questions: like the “What if…”, “What works…”, “From a scale of 1-10…”, “How are you dealing with this problem right now?”, “How do others think…”, “What’s next...”.  You have learned it all from being a coach for your buyer, and then you use those powerful coaching questions to help others to understand what they really need and how to finally make a buying decision.

You are also smart enough to do a summarization from time to time; making sure that you are on the same page with everyone, and not misinterpreting anything.

You know that only by matching your buyer’s decision process will give you the ultimate prize – the sale.
There is no misconception any more for you.  You have a clear idea now how your next sales manager should look like … and look who’s listening?

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